Today I said goodbye

I've not be to a funeral before today. I drive past Fremantle cemetery almost every day in my comings and goings, often with a small reflection for those in the car park there for the remembrance of a loved one. More often than not they are all older people, no doubt there to celebrate the life of someone who had all the years the could have possibly wanted.

Leah was only 29, and the darkness was too much for her, so she chose to leave us. We were never close friends, but I always think of her fondly, and remember her as one of those people who was all smiles, and lites up a room. She only went to my school for 2 years, yet she was loved by all, such was her big heart and her infectious smiles.

So we came together, old Ionians a plenty. Sister Mary, always remembering everyone no matter how many years have passed. Grief was too much for some, and for others, they seemed numb, still disbelieving. We listened to stories of her life, the joy she brought her friends, and how very much she'll be missed.

Time came to say our final goodbye. Family and closest friends went up to her coffin first, to write words of love and goodbyes on the casket, and to place a flower, or a kiss. I watch her best friend, who I know quite well just fall apart. She walked back shaking, heaving and broken, saying her final goodbye to someone she loved so dearly; it was like she didn't want to say goodbye, because then she would really be gone. She sat in front of me comforted by her Mother, and as her Mother tried to console her, my heart broken a little bit too. I can't begin to imagine the depth of her grief.

It was my turn to say goodbye, I made my way up slowly to her casket. I stood and looked at it finding it so hard to believe that in there lay a dead girl, one who had been so alive. I touched the casket, and to my surprise it was very warm. I wished her peace, but could not help but wish I believed in heaven. Some faith would have been a comfort today, instead it leaves my mind reeling with thoughts, of is this all there is?

Now I'm home, the birds still chirp, the sky is still blue, children still play and life continues. Not even a second of time stands still for anyone, no matter how much they have been loved. So we must continue on, taking our sorrow with us, time ever passing, hurts mellowing, but never forgetting.


R.I.P Leah, I'll always remember you.