The importance of little things
I was thinking today about all the little things that could have made the difference between Tony and I meeting:
1. If I hadn't gone to the 'back to school' themed party.
2. If Hale hadn't show Tony the pics from the party to 'see what he had missed', one of which had me in it.
3. If Rhyll's bf hadn't made up a myspace profile with his music on it
4. If I hadn't made up a myspace profile to get his music.
5. If I hadn't changed my original profile pic to the one from the party
6. If Tony hadn't been scanning myspace randomly and recognised my photo
7. If Tony hadn't said 'hi, I think I know someone who knows you'
8. If I hadn't e-mailed back, and we hadn't worked out we'd both be going to Matt's party
9. If I hadn't gone to Matt's pool party
10.If Tony hadn't gone to Matt's pool party
I look at all that stuff, they are all such small things. Such day to day little occurrences. But if even one of those things hadn't happened, I don't think Tony and I would have ever met. Already this is a life changing relationship, so it makes me wonder where would my life be going if I hadn't met Tony.
It also leads me to wonder, what other tiny things that I do today are making a big impact on my future? I'm not one to believe in destiny, in fact when people tout 'meant to be' I roll my eyes and want to barf. I believe that stuff just happens, we make choices, and life ensues. But it is interesting how such small things can cause such a turn in our lives. I think it also shows how important it is to live our lives to the full, to go out and take chances.
posted by Milly @ 6:25 PM
13 Comments
13 Comments:
"You can't argue with the little things. It's the little things that make up life." - Hank Scorpio (likable super-villian from The Simpsons)
can you imagine Emma's life without the simpsons?
I used to think that fate/destiny was a load. In fact i probably still do. I think it's just more the fact that there really is probably only 1 person for you, and realistically, if you find them, your life is just on a whole other level. the longer you know someone, the more this should become apparent :)
I'm not sure about the whole only one person for you thing either. I mean am I to believe that if I was born in another country, or even in another state that I would never find love? That I was just lucky enought be born in WA a place that Tony lives?
I think we have the possibility of many loves in many places. But we choose one person (well most of us only choose one) based on our current circumstances.
Not a very romantic notion I know, but logical to me none the less.
I guess I'm just lucky as to where my circumstances find me right now, and between my circumstances and my choices I'm finding myself to be in a very happy place.
I guess so far I've only had one person that has given me any thoughts of a love that could last a long time. I don't like the word forever, although that's how I feel. I'm not sure whether that will happen again and I think as I get older the word 'settle' comes to mind.
I guess your last love is always the most ferocious in your mind, in most cases anyway. Humans definitely have the great ability to defend themselves and their emotions given time. What seems tragic now won't seem so tragic int eh future. What seems so glorious now won't seem that way in the future.
I think circumstance and choice are the two most powerful forces in someones' life. You and Tony have landed in a circumstance and chosen to love each other. Love is a choice, I think to consider it otherwise is silly. Falling in love implies no control and you always have control over yourself and your emotions. You guys have committed to your choice and that's showing as being a wicked thing.
I think seeing your meeting as a bunch of little fated chances is cool, but the choices you've both made are where the real power lies.
But that's the thing, I don't see it as fate, I was just marvelling at all the little mundane things I do with my life and where it lead me, all purely by chance into Tony's lap.
And as for how this love feels in the future, I have no doubt in my mind it will be as strong in 20 years if not stronger than it is now. If I felt that it would just fade in time rather than deepen and grow, I wouldn't be with Tony. :)
I tend to think that it's like "Sliding Doors" in that you could go through all those small steps and get to the end that way, or something else completely different would have happened but you'd get her regardless.
I think you'd have had a hard time *avoiding* Tony.
As for one person - I think it's been proven that you can fall in love with about 10% of the population, given the right circumstances. Whatever...
I meant 1 person that you meet in your lifetime. 1 person will hopefully stand out above all the rest, you've just got to follow your instincts and identify them when you get that chance. And yeah the "sliding doors" thing is a good philosphy. All roads lead to here, so to speak.
I didn't mean that there is only 1 person in the entire world/universe that you might be able to form a bond with. Otherwise most people would be single :)
Given that this is all just a nice ideal for me and I have no practical experience most if not everything I say will always be proceeded by an "I Think".
I think love is a changing ideal. I think when people talk about love growing and deepening really you're talking about comfort. This scares some people. To think that the ferocious type of love you typically experience at the beginning will continue forever is probably what causes most break ups. People need to grow up and realise love it an emotion and like all emotions it will settle. Then it's up to you whether where it settles is enough for you.
This is probably getting a bit off the beat and track though.
I don't agree with sliding doors really, I think circumstances are what gets you to teh door and choice is what gets you through. One person opens and you choose to walk through. As for the one person in your lifetime I agree with that, I think one person will stand out... unfortunately you won't necessarily end up being able to love that person.
Love, she is a mother fucker ...
Well I have to toally disagree with you in regards to love dying over time and just having to decide to 'settle' as you put it.
I look at my parents, married for 32 years now and they are both as in love with each other today as much as they ever have been.
My love is not a limited thing, it's infinate and the more you give the more you have the capacity to give. Be that with family, friends or lovers.
Anway on this subject I think we will have to agree to disagree. :)
But I have the feeling that when you find the love of your life who loves you back just as much (and I know you will), you might change your view.
Oh and Im down with the sliding door theory. Not all those 'choices' I made were with any knowing they would lead me to Tony. Just random stuff.
I don't think love dies, I think what you call love changes and waxes and wanes over time. You just can't always be as in love as you are right now, sometimes it'll be more, sometimes it will be less. Sometimes you won't get enough time together and things could get strained, but sometimes you'll have all the time you want. Sometimes you'll have similar goals and sometimes you won't.
I think what I'm talking about is that nice exciting stage at the start and maybe for the first couple or few or 6 months. It's funny seeing someone go through this right now and knowing it. Eventually that passes and settles to a level that some people are comfortable and happy at and some people aren't. I call that settling and maybe that has negative connotations, where you 'settle' could be absolute fulfillment for you, for others they want the constant thrilla nd when the settle comes they want out.
I'm jaded and don't mind admitting it :)
ok, I'm determined to have the last word here!
In my opinion and experience, the 'new exciting part' of love although exciting doesn't always feel so fulfilling. It's when things deepen and love becomes more intense and less flighty that things really start to get good.
And yes your are extremely jaded!!
I agree on both points.
I think the best thing for me to do right now is put away the razor blades and go and see Pirates of the Carribean. ;)
I said I wanted the last word!...I'm gonna do what Matt would do here.....
penis!
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