Doing too much

I've been awake since 3.30, my stupid arm has been aching all night. I'm going to give work a miss today, I can't face 10 hours of typing and mouse usage. It doesn't matter how much I tried not to use my fractured hand yesterday I did, and LOTS. So I'm paying for it now. I really hope it's all better in 6 weeks (2.5 to go), but at this rate I'm doubting it. I need to be able to be at work full time by mid July if I want this management job. I've just worked it out, and if I get that job I'll be getting 100% pay rise...bloody hell!

The hard part now is not getting too excited in case I don't get it. But at the same time believing in myself that I am well and truly capable of getting the job. I'm trying not to spend the extra money in my head already, but it's hard not to. I've already tweaked my budget spread sheet to see what it would look like if I made more money...oh the possibilities.

New posibilities

So I had my first day back at work yesterday after my accident. Things went slowly but well enough. I had lots of people tell me welcome back and that I was missed which was really nice.

As I've now made the final decision to throw in the towel with my studies, I need to do something a little bit more with my days. So I spoke to my boss Sascha who informed me there is a 6 month management secondment up for grabs. I then went and had a chat with big boss Dave who seemed very excited that I was interested. I was pretty blunt with him and said the money would have to be decent for me to consider it. The cool thing is that the managers have all just been given a hefty pay increase, so even the base managers pay is really good! It's more money than I've ever made, so I'm really excited.

I still have to go through an interviewing process and all that jazz, but i think I am in with a really good chance. There isn't much competition which makes it easier.

If I don't get this position I will be looking at different roles within the company and seeing what else I can do. I really like working for IAG, it's just my current position bores me to tears!

wish me luck

Love my way

I've been putting off watching this as I know that the little girl dies in it. I've just finished watching that particular episode and have tears rolling down my face...so sad!!

Lifemares

She's haunting me again, that girl with the dull eyes and the energy of 100 hundred women before her with the attitude of 'what's the point? what's it all for?'. I thought she was long gone, it's been so long that I actually forgot that she had ever existed, just a bad and somewhat boring dream, back in the vague recesses of my memory.

Tonight she stared out at me in a photo and was a stark reminder of what I once was, and brought back all those feelings of sadness, and being alone in a sea of people. That feeling of being so lost, so confused with lifes boundless choices that instead it's easier to make no choice and watch everyone else make them and hope you somehow get swept along. I think I'd even prefer to be backed into a corner, with limited choices so it's easier to choose, and you can blame circumstance for your own ineptitude.

I'm in my own way, I'm making the wrong choices, I know I am, but I feel so powerless to shake this feeling. I've been here before, I've fought it with will power and I've never won, never, not once.

Another thing, a bold choice, not one most people will understand. I've managed the strength to do it, but not to let many people know. Why am I still so goverened by what others may think of me? I tell myself, it's my life, my choices and I'm the only person who has to deal with the life I make for myself. This is something I should boldly, proudly declare, but instead, it's a little hidden mouse of a voice at times. We keep secrets that voice and I.

What the hell?

I'm not sure what's more disturbing, the look on Matt's face, or the grin on Tony's!!

Just in case you get lost

Today I went to the hospital again. They have now taken off the stupid, cumbersome, heavy, clunky plaster one and replaced it with a 'tailor made' plastic one. I sat in the waiting room for about 4 hours before being finally sent down a rabbit warren of stairs, corridors and hallways to the special 'hand' physiotherapist area.

It was quite fascinating watching the woman make my cast. She started by drawing a template using my good hand on some paper towel. She then transferred that onto what looked like a thick sheet of plastic with tiny holes all over it. After cutting it to a rough size she put it in baine marie type of water bath thingo (yes that is the technical term). In there it softened and became quite sticky. She then moulded it to my arm and hand being careful to properly immobilise my thumb. After that she carefully folded back any possible rough edges, put on the Velcro to keep it in place and voila!

So the great news is its light, and I have been told to leave it on even in the shower (it can get wet). The best part of all is I can take it off if I get desperate. I was really worried about having a new clunky plaster one and my eczema flairing up underneath it making it unbearably itchy.

The down side is my hand is now in a more fixed position so I can't actually do quite as much with it. It's probably for the best anyway.

So 4 weeks and I see the hand dude again. Hopefully by then I will be all better!!

I've had enough

I am so sick and tired of myself! I'm getting so frustrated couped up here at home not being able to do many of the most basic things for myself. It almost feels like I'm under house arrest.

The weight of this cast is driving me bananas and the sling to hold my arm up feels like it is strangling me. So this afternoon I've decided the solution comes in a bottle...a beer bottle.

And so it comes to this..

Today was my first day back at work with a banged up hand. I managed to 'work' till 11am at which point my hand was throbbing and I thought I best bite the bullet and take myself off to emergency at Royal Perth.

So to cut a long and boring story short I was in emergency from 11am-3.30pm at the end of which I find out I have a fractured my right scaphoid bone. So I now have my right hand and arm in an enormous cast! I have been given 2 weeks off work and uni. The hard part with uni is that I have exams next week and I can't write to save my life! I just want to get them over and done with, not have to drag them out! Garghhh!!!

I am booked in to see a surgeon next week, which sounds rather ominous! So it's not too sore, just lingering. The worst part is the annoyance of the cast!

Lamest quote ever

In light of a recent online discussion, the lameness of this quote struck me:

'If you want him to adorn you in pearls, you need to learn how to polish his jewels' - Althea star woman.

What's the lamest quote you've read recently?

Busy little beavers

Today was a somewhat busy day. I finally got around to buying my sister her birthday pressie. There is a guy on Lefroy Rd in Fremantle who makes beautiful African inspired pottery. What I bought her was a gorgeous cone shaped pot with a lid, the handle of which is a fluted shape. It's painted in lots of different colours, very pretty.

After that I picked up my new clock that's been on layby forever, and visited my Mum who isn't feeling too fell. Poor thing has the flu.

When Tony got home we went to Jane and Mikes to give her the pressie and borrow some stuff for the party. As it's only a small unit and I've invited too many people I figure we'll all spill outside. So I've borrowed their outdoor gas heater, as well as some lovely paper candle bags for lighting peoples way.

I think the worst part about parties is the worrying how many people will come. On one hand I'm worried too many people will come and I'll piss off my neighbours. On the other hand I'm worried no one will come, and I'll have to drink 2 cartons on my own...it's hard being me.

Things that are hard to do one handed

-Put on a bra (totally impossible right now)
-Wash my hair
-Put my hair in a pony tail
-Drive
-Breakfast: I couldn't butter toast with my left OK hand, and was in agony doing it with my right. I had beans on toast, which requires a knife and fork. I couldn't do that either, Tony had to cut it up for me like I am 4 again!
-Moisturise my face
-Use the loo
-Button up my jeans

Like Joni Mitchell says 'don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got till it's gone'.

Stack Update

Jane has a fractured elbow. To make things worse, today also happens to be her birthday.

Spectacular stack

So Jane and I went for our first big bike ride together today. We had made it almost to Mill Point road when my bike started to wobble uncontrollably causing me to fall off. This wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't for the fact Jane was right behind me. She didn't manage to swerve in time and hit my bike, causing her to stack it and land on top of me!

At first I had no idea what was going on all I was aware of was Jane making an awful 'I'm in pain' sound. So I've grazed both my knees, my left one took most of the impact, and although it doesn't look very scratched, it's very swollen and painful. A nice big blue bruise is starting to show. I also grazed my left elbow, and the worst part is I think I have sprained my wrist on my right hand. I can't use my right hand or it absolutely kills! It all feels muscular, but is very sore.

Jane managed to rip a hole in her pants, grazed her knees and elbows slightly, and managed to really fuck up her right arm too. Hers is worse than mine, she couldn't straighten it, and is currently waiting in emergency at Freo hospital to make sure she hasn't broken anything. I hope it's OK, she should call very soon and let me know.

When we looked at the bikes after calming ourselves down I noticed the quick release leaver on my back wheel was missing, and my back wheel was not sitting where it was supposed to. I wasn't doing anything weird when the accident happened, I didn't ride over a stick, or off the path into sand, nothing. So I am assuming the loss of the leaver holding the wheel on was the culprit.

SO in addition to hurting myself I managed to make a bit of a mess of my bike too. I ripped the material on my brand new bike seat, my gears have all been scratched up and moved. The handles are all scratched up too. Oh and of course my wheel won't stay on, so that's not good!

Aren't bikes supposed to make you fit and healthy? Our bikes have claimed 3 people over the last week. Tony about a week ago, with a REALLY badly grazed knee, and now Jane and I.

I wonder

So Aaron has this theory about anal sex that it's like maths, the more you practice it the more you like it...or something like that. Anyway, I thought this would make maths fun:


I wonder if there is something along the same vein to make anal sex more fun?

Spaced - Tyres at the crossing

This just makes me roll about laughing!

Spaced - More Tyres O'Flaherty

Spaced - Tyres and Scrabble

I love this character 'tyers', he reminds me of Alex a few years a go a little bit. I think it's part where he 'goes disco'.

Spaced-an unspoken telepathy

Love this show too! It has the same guy who plays the weird Dr in Green Wing. And it is the first thing they guys from Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the dead did.

green wing-take it back

Green Wing - Well you can *%#! off then!

I love this TV show. It's so uncomfortably funny at times.

Volleyball

As always we had volleyball last night, it was a really fun game despite the fact we lost each set. After that we went to Jane's house for a bbq. I always love the sort of meals where everyone brings along something to share. It's just such a nice communal thing to do to sit down and share a meal with friends. Next time we have an early game I think we'll do the same thing at my place.

I woke up this morning with a sore knee though. It's been a bit niggley in the past, but not usually a problem. I think I may have twisted it a bit when I played volleyball last night. I'm very wary of doing any permanent damage to it so I'm giving it some rest.