Turning into a boy

I often joke with my flat mates that I am turning into a boy, but yesterday I shocked even myself. Some of the things that come out of my mouth are appalling. I used to be such a quiet reserved human door mat, and I'm worried that now I'm going too far the other way. Too cocky, too blokey, too rude, too loud, too over bearing and perhaps too full of myself? I don't think people see me as a girl sometimes, but just one of the boys...it's a worry.

Perhaps it is time to take stock, to step back and think...however I could never be one of those needy princess types. I would want to stab myself with a pen, or gouge out my own heart with a spoon if I were like that!

Today is my one year 'anniversary' of breaking up with Tim, oh the irony of going to see a band (with Ben and Rhyll) that we often saw when we lived in Broome. Honestly why do I do these things to myself?

Fuck you!

Amazing how two words from the lips of a friend can ruin your day.

Personal Best

So Saturday is always a work day for me. As far as work goes it's always crazy busy in the morning then in the afternoon it's so quiet, you have nothing to do and then you get really bored! We have internet access at work though so you can always find stuff to muck around with online. Some things are blocked though like this site, so I can't blog at work, and also my yahoo mail isn't accessible, but that's ok, most things are available.

So anyway after work on Saturday I decided to go for a run around the river. Up until the previous Thursday I'd been stuck at running 5km, and was having a really hard time pushing past that boundary. So on Thursday I managed to run 5.6km and was totally thrilled! On Saturday I thought I'd push it a bit further and shocked myself by running 7km! So that run had 3 pretty decent hills...and here's a weird thing, I like running up hills! It's completely bizarre, and all so out of character for me, but I love it!

I think I've told almost everyone I know that I have run 7km. It's not to brag, but more because I still can't quite believe it myself, and have to repeat it for the idea to sink in!

Turns out ideal running pace for me is either to anything Shpongle or Fdel. I'd never admit Shpongle to my flat mate Alex, as he's totally in love with Shpongle. As much as I do like shpongle, I can't manage to listen to them 24/7, which is how it would be if Al had his way. Good thing for me, Al's not into blogs, and he'll never read this.

Sunday was a very pleasant day spent with friends to 'watch the footy', Eagles vs. Dockers. We didn't really watch very much of it, but enough to know the Dockers won which is good. Even though I'm not a footy fan, I am a Freo girl through and through.

Ben my other flat mate and I went to see a movie in Fremantle that evening, and we saw the funniest thing. A taxi was driving some guy around Freo doing 'bog laps' so he could wave an Eagles flag around! I almost wet my pants it was so funny!

Changes

Today I was going through some old photos and found some of myself about 2 years ago when I was living in Broome. I tell ya, you wouldn't think it was the same person!

I know I've lost weight, but you tend to forget just how much until you see old pictures of yourself. I think I used to have a featureless face,not to mention a fat ass!

The running is helping me so much, I'm actually almost looking forward to shopping for bathers this year! It used to be an exercise that would reduce me to hot self loathing tears, but not this year!! Oh no, although I am not perfect and never will be I have made peace with my body and am determined to stand proud clad in lycra, and go swimming without imagining every last person is staring at me think to themselves 'what is that?'.

Women of the world I say we should be proud of our bodies, not to mention the rest of who we are (mind and spirit too!). Take a leaf from the average blokes book and stop caring what everyone else thinks. I'd say more people are worried about what YOU think of them that the other way around.

Warning: Don't read this Maggie it's about mice!

I had so much trouble getting to sleep last night, and do you know why? No it wasn't noisy 'just friends spooning' going on in Alex's room, or even the sounds of Ben whispering sweet nothings to bike number 7 (yes that's right, there are now over twice the number of bikes than people in this house!), it was a smell.

We've had a lot of problems with mice in our house since the cold weather and the rain. It seems it brings them inside to shelter. I've seen a few pop out of the floor boards, and I even caught one the other day in my room that scurried into a hole in the bricks of my fire place. So anyway we've finally put down baits as they seem to have no interest in the mouse traps any more, despite earlier success of catching about 6. So my biggest concern is tiny rotting corpses about our house stinking up the place, which brings me back to the smell in my room.

I used to hear rustling noises under my bed until I plugged up the holes in the brick work. So I assumed this rotting meat/mould smell that was keeping me awake was a dead mouse nestled somewhere amongst boxes of my possessions beneath the bed. I didn't want to fish it out so late at night but the idea of sleeping over a tiny dead body was highly disturbing!

After hours of tossing and turning and finding various ways of blocking my delicate olfactory senses I finally managed to sleep. I had all kinds of bizarre dreams about mice in our house, I think my subconscious mind was a bit obsessed.

Anyway the next morning I was telling Ben about it, who simply tells me: 'I smelt that smell outside, it must be the bin'.

Crap! All I needed to do was move the fecking bin right outside my window...thanks boys!

Death becomes her

I'm not even sure how I found this site, it's called DisceMori but it fascinates me in a truly terrifying way. Julia deVille is a jewelry designer who explores death and taxidermy. What possesses a 19 year old to learn about taxidermy, and then mount mice heads on tiny plaques and create brooches out of dead birds heads?

I wish she'd come to my house to kill a few mice, then mount them on plaques, perhaps that would serve as a warning to other rodents!


The most bizarre has to be the little fur rug she made from a kitten, head and all attached, just like you'd see a tiger skin rug. Also there is a stuffed still born kitten.

What on earth are you eating?

Today for some reason I have taken it upon myself to go and watch a whole bunch of really disturbing videos put out by PETA(People for The Ethical Treatment of Animals).

I've also been reading a bit about why milk isn't very good for you. Good thing for me I drink very little milk so it shouldn't be a problem, but I intend on switching from my normal hi-lo milk to whole organic milk. When milk has the fat reduced it is de-natured and the mineral balance can then be all out of whack. If you drink a lot of milk this can mean too much phosphorus and too much calcium (yes despite what the dairy corporation tells you, you can have too much calcium, without enough magnesium to back it up it just sits around your body unused causing all kind of troubles).

Then I decided to check out my ecological foot print. Did you know that if every person on this earth lived life like me we would require 2 planets just to sustain us? And I'm a person who has a very fuel efficient car, who rarely travels on airplanes and who doesn't eat much meat (soon to be none I think) What a scary thought. If you're interested to find out yourEcological footprint this calculator will show you how

The business of healing

Something I'm really enjoying about my lectures right now is that we are not only learning how to be effective naturopaths, but also how to be smart small business owners.

Introduction to professional practices is the lecture run by the mad Irish woman and I'm loving it! Today we spoke about policies and procedures, which has inspired me to go and start writing up a bunch that I may use some time in the future when I have a business of my own.

Learning all these skills I can really imagine myself in a practice of my own. Being made to think about all these things is helping me formulate in my mind just how I want to set up practice when I graduate.

Quack of the week award goes to a girl in my class whom I overheard telling someone how 'some people don't eat and that they absorb nutrients through their eyes in the form of atmospheric energy' Where do people get this shit from, and why do they not question it, and lastly WHY do they feel they have to pass on such ridiculous opinions to others? She should have been marched outside at the very second she finished that sentence and shot

A child's view

The other day I was bored, so I went for a walk around North Fremantle. As I started to make my way back to our house a thought occurred to me that I am no longer a child and very much a 'responsible' adult. Which made me wonder, at what point did that happen? I have still been a child for longer than I have been and adult, so these adult shoes I fill can still sometimes feel strange.

As I walked back I examined my life as if I were still a child and wondered what the child version of me would think of my life right now. Would I approve, or would I have expected myself to have achieved a lot more by now?

Firstly child me loved that I live in North Fremantle. Ever since I was a kid this has been my favourite suburb, plus I grew up in the suburb next door, so I got a tick for that. Then I saw my house and thought 'wow, how cool I must be rich, and I'm probably married with kids and stuff!'. I got down on one knee to 'child level' and slowly broke it to myself that I in fact didn't own that house, and that although I live with children they aren't mine.

Next I showed me my shiny red car, after the other let down poor little me assumed that it was rented or belonged to someone else. I proudly opened the door to show myself the inside and explained that no it is mine, and I've worked hard to get it! I didn't have the heart to tell me I'm probably going to have to sell it.

Then my little self asked about my 'career'. I told her about all the things I had done with my life so far, she sat in awe listening to my stories, she was very excited to be doing all those things, so I think I got another tick there.

And lastly little me asked if I had a boyfriend, and all I could do was impart this sage advice: 'In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do'. I'm not sure that I understood, but I'm sure I will some day.

I'm possesed!

I've just come to the realisation that everytime I write e-mails I am possesed by somebody's Nana! I use all kinds of old fashioned terms that I'd never use in 'real life' conversation. Only just today I have caught myself typing in 'my dear', 'pet', and 'what a silly duffer'.
I'm not sure if it's my hands that are possesed or my thoughts. If it's my hands I'm sure I can in future dictate my e-mails to someone else to type then I'll be fine. If it's my thoughts that are possesed I'm in trouble.

A sparkling future

I am writing this post on my new laptop computer! It's so much fun to have new toys.

Tonight I have the house to myself and am enjoying it wearing my jammies and one of my most cozy cardigans (called Mavis). I'm also making the most of watching very trashy TV, the kind of stuff that would make both Ben and Alex leave the house in tears. I have a huge glass of very good shiraz, and have our lovely gas heater on.

I think if I lived on my own I'd never leave the house. The more of my own time I get, the more of my own time I want. I can imagine in my old age becoming some crazy old lady who owns lots of cats. I don't even like cats, but it's on the cards!