Decisions decisions

Very soon I will be a full time student as well as having a job. My work hours are going to be reduced so I'm going to have even less money than now. The dilema is do I keep my lovely, red, shiny, pretty, new, zippy, fuel efficient, sexy, cosy, car? Or do I sell it and buy an old bomb so I have no debt? I worked out a few months back that by the time I work out all my car costs for the year it costs me nearly 1/3 of my wages after tax! Yes I get paid a pittance, and once I'm doing reduced hours I'll be paid 2/3 of a pittance!

It's not so much a lack of money, it's more that the lack of money means my social life doesn't end up being as full as I'd like it to be, and nothing sucks more than not being able to go to some event or other due to lack of funds.

I'm thinking I might get my mobile massage business up and running again to make some extra cash. In case anyone is wondering I DON'T DO HAPPY FINISHES! Purely remedial massage thank you very much! I know what you were all thinking. Dirty minds, you should be ashamed.

Photos

As I am no way near nerdy enough I have no idea how to make a link, so I'll just let you know I have uploaded photos from Sat night onto my ringo account. I also took liberties and stole all of Aarons pics too! Teach him to leave his camera at my house!! mwaahahahahahaa!!!
If any one has massive objections to any photo please let me know and I'll remove the picture.

http://www.ringo.com/explore/member/album.html?albumId=39402500

thanks Matt!

Other hobbies

Not only am I an elephant trainer I also have a way with aardvarks. There are 2 schools of thought when it comes to aardvark training, but first you must decide what you are training said aardvark to do.

Basically you can get most garden variety aardvarks to do one of 3 things:
1. Fetch the paper
2. A complicated trapese act involving a 2 meter drop and an aardvark sized tutu
3. Knit you a jumper

The two schools of thought are either torture or tease. The torture method involves you cracking a whip, or connecting the aardvarks nipples to a battery, giving it a shock each time it doesn't behave. The tease method requires you to tie a peice of string around an ant and lead the aardvark to do your bidding as it follows the ant.

Most people find it difficult to tie string around ants, so the torture method has become the most popular in modern times. The torture method involving batteries is only a recent discovery. In some Eastern European countries where trained aardvarks are in high demand the discovery of the battery torture method has resulted in battery sales doubling. Enerdjaziar battery company's share holders can thank the torture method for it's all time high share prices in 1984.

It is important to only teach your Aardvark one trick as the mental overload from numerous tasks could result in your aardvark becoming a blathering mess prone to attack. Just ask Jelso Vrboska how he lost his left testicle and right eyebrow.

If all else fails refer to this limerick:
An aardvark can only learn one trick
to knitting, balancing and fetching you should stick
if you push it to hard
put up your hands to gaurd
it may try to bite off your dick

Faces, puppies, rabbits, Steve wearing pants and other hallucinations

My flat mate Ben has only just returned from a trip to India where he was working for 5 weeks. Whilst he was away he was very much missed by us all and it was only fitting that we had a little celebration to welcome him back to civilisation.
So the setting was our lovely Fremantle home, full to the brim with lovely people. We had the fire going, plenty of beer and plenty of sugary and salty snack foods. Aaron turned up with some beautiful dumplings which we steamed and ate with delight!
It was a lovely night filled with laughter, interesting conversation and a great group of people.
Ben and Al left for a 3 day hiking trip the next day, which means I get the place to myself for a few days. After cleaning up I spent most of the afternoon relaxing with my book being all rugged up on the couch...such simple pleasures!

Soul...makes food taste better

In my opinion the best music to cook to is funky 60's soul. Maybe the ass shaking it produces helps you to stir more efficiently? Or the certain vibrations that a funky soul rhythm creates, can pass through food making it taste better as it goes. Here is recipe for another of my soundtracks for you to try:

1.Betty Harris-Break in the road. Some call Betty the Soul Queen of New Orleans. I love this track it just has this really great base line to it, and some nice drum work.

2.Earl Gaines-You are my sunshine. This is an interesting version of this song, I got this from a really quirky compilation called 'dirty laundry', it's a soul/country compilation. I always find it interesting when genres merge. I'd have to say this is far more soul orientated than country though.

3.Dr John - Gris Gris Gumbo. I love Dr John, he's just trippy and funky and well lets face it ...weird! He is predominantly a pianist, as well as vocalist and song writer. One album of his that I have has a picture of his hands, which are all bent, and bowed, which is amazing considering his talent in 'tickling the ivories'. This is one of those New Orleans, vodoo tinged tracks. The words make no sense and I'm sure it was written while he was totally off his face. Probably been licking too many toads or something! I have to quote some of the cover notes from this album they are just soo odd! 'My group consists of Dr. Poo Pah Doo of Destine Tamborine and Dr Ditmus of Conga. Dr. Boudreaux of funky knuckle skins....Zombie of the second line under the eight versions of professor longhair reincannated the chants of now'. I want what he's having, pass the toad!

4.Eddie Bo - The Thang. This has really odd off beat drumming to it, almost the kind of thing you'd hear in modern dance music. Again the bass line is really strong, and it's just down right funky.

5.Minnie Ripperton - Les Fleur. The first time I heard this track was about 6 years ago at Vibes on a Summers day being played by Norman Jay. It was THE best thing I had heard all day. The amazing thing is it stands on it's own, he didn't add a single note to it, just played it in it's natural entierty. The middle has this big (in the sense of the size of the noise) choral bit, almost like something out of Jesus Christ Super Star, then it goes back to Minnie's lovely sweet voice. Love it!

6. Aretha Franklin - The house that Jack built. Aretha is up there in my top 10, she really is THE Queen of Soul! I think this track was used in a Levis jeans advert back in the early ninties. In most music I find the instramental part carries the singer. Not so for Ms. Franklin, she dominates the track everytime. The way she bends and wavers notes, she makes a song truly hers every time. When Aretha first tried to unleash her talent on the world she got knocked back due to her large size and average looks, but her amazing talent won critics over. I think if I had one wish it would be to be able to sing like Aretha. She gives me shivers!

7.Al Green- Simply Beautiful. For a good soul love song you really can't go past Al Green. For someone who sings these beautiful songs with such delicate, tender intensity, it is a shock to find out he was actually a wife basher.

8.Ray Charles - Hallelujah I love her so. What a talent for a blind boy from very humble beginnings! Not only does he play the piano and sing, he also writes his own songs! Ray Charles was the first musician to mix Gospel with R&B. It was seen to be very taboo at the time, mixing 'God's music' with R&B which was considered 'sinful' music about relations between men and women. This is another song which has been used in an ad, nescafe I think it was, but it was a long time ago now. It still make me wanna go get a coffee!

9.Irma Thomas - Don't mess with my man. I just love the words to this song 'you can have my husband, but please don't mess with my man'. She sings about her husband only buying her beans and rice, but her man buys her steak. It's a great track instramentally with some prime sounding horns, but it just makes me smile everytime I listen to the words.

10.Carla Thomas - B.A.B.Y. There are two main record lables when it comes to soul, Motown and Atlantis. Carla was one of the 'jewels' in the Atlantic Records crown until moving to lesser known Stax. She had most of her hits in the 60's including duets with Otis Redding. This is a sweet little track with some understated bass lines and nice vocals.

11. Sam and Dave - I thank you. Sam Moore and Dave Prater, coming from humble gospel beginnings as was the way for many of the 60's soul acts. They had a string of hits written and produced by Isaak Hayes, who is best known for writting the theme to 'Shaft'. I love when the drums and bass guitar kick in with this track.

Mmmmm...tasty!

Family

I had my Mum and Dad over for dinner tonight, my sister Jane is home sick with a cold though, so unfortunatly she couldn't come. I forget how much I miss them until they come over. But maybe because I don't see them very often, that gives me a chance to miss them.

So I made dinner, and it was very good if I do say so myself. I bought some Dhu fish from the boatshed in Cottesloe on my way home, it was supposed to be fresh from Lancelin. For almost $70 a kilo it better be fresh!

So I made a delicate thai style hoikken noodle stir fry. You can't use flavours that are too over powering with really good fish, or you just ruin it. Then I lightly flowered the fillets in a flour mix of good quality sea salt (amazing what a difference good salt can make) and native bush lemon pepper. Then I shallow fried it in a bit of butter and olive oil. Last minute I tossed rough chopped corriander through the stir fry. Then I served the fish on top of the stir fry with a chilli, roast garlic and lemon mayo that I made.

For dessert we had bread and butter pudding. For those who have no idea what it is, it's a very old fashioned recipe. it's basically bread and butter that has a custard mix pored over it, then the whole lot is baked until the custard is cooked and firm. I like to use fruit bread, croissants or brioche, and sprinkle sugar on the top, that way you get lovely golden crunchy bits on the top. I usually serve it with icecream, I love that hot pudding contrasting with cold icecream sensation. So our house now smells like I've been baking hot cross buns from the spices and fruit in the bread I used.

So my tummy is now happy with food, and my heart sated with family.

Instant party...just add water

There is a strange phenomonon at my house, where if I put my jammies on and decide to do some ironing because no one is home but me, a party will suddenly appear from nowhere! I think maybe I am so good at ironing that people want to come and watch to pick up hints and tips!

Another strange occurance is the odd occasion I decided to have a bath (instead of a shower for those of you who think that means I only bathe biannually). One such evening I got home and no one else was there, so as the bath was actually clean for once I decided a bath would be nice. I ran the water, put in some yummy bubbles, had some candles going and got my book to read. The very minute I was in the raw and about to step in I hear the front door, then the sound of about 20 drunk people coming in! For those of you who have been to my house you'll know there is NO LOCK on our bathroom door, and that our only toilet is in the bathroom. So Al knocks on the door to see if that's where I'm hiding. I say 'hi, I'm in the bath!' Aparently that's his queue to come in (makes perfect sense when you're drunk so I'm told)! Good thing for me at this stage I'm up to my neck in bubbles. Al proceeds to 'chat' at me for a few minutes, then tells me people are busting for the loo. So what can I do but say I don't mind as long as they don't mind an audience when they pee!? Lucky for me there was only one taker, a girl who was so drunk she probably wouldn't remember talking to some naked girl who was in the bath while she peed.

The rest of my 'relaxing' bath all I could hear was some guy shouting how there is 'some chick' in the bath and he has to pee but he can't go while I watch. That just pisses me off being called 'some chick' in my own house!! Where are peoples manners, honestly!

My Medical Career

I've come to the conclusion I must be a proctologist, I've dealt with nothing but assholes all day! I must remember to wash my hands.

Quirks

I love finding out about peoples eccentricities. Strange supersticions, weird sayings, odd phobias, and unusual beliefs.

I have a friend who every time she goes through an amber light scratches her car roof and taps on the windscreen. A few people I know lift their feet off the ground when they go over train tracks.

My grandmother on my father's side had some funny things she'd say. If it was raining but there were no clouds about she'd say 'it's a monkey's wedding'. My own Mother when I was a teenager in an attempt to drag me out of bed would yell down the house to me 'people die in bed!'. That one still confuses me to this day.

As for weird phobias a friend doesn't like the feeling of 'naked' foam, it gives him the creeps.

I find myself going into catholic school girl mode every time I see a hearse with a coffin in it. I cross myself and recite in my head the hail mary. My sister gets funny feelings every now and then and rings the whole family to make sure none of us are dead. So far her psychic abilities have been totally wrong, but if it happens often enough I'm sure the odds will eventually be in her favour.

Food glorious food

I have been a chef in a former life, and know how to cater for mass amounts of people. In fact I used to work on a pearl farm where I cooked for 50 people breakfast, lunch and dinner!

Today I had a bunch of friends over for lunch, originally it was going to be 16 people, but it ended up being 12. So lunch for 12, not hard for a girl who is used to cooking for 50 right? How wrong I was! It's amazing how a small kitchen can really constrain you! So I finished work yesterday at 8pm and thought I'd go home and get a start on the next days feast. I chopped, baked, boiled, grilled, mashed and kneaded until about midnight! Then the next day (today) I got up bright and early at 7 only to finally finish cooking at about 1pm when people started to arrive. What a mission!

The good part though was that everyone seemed to really enjoy the food, and that's what makes it all worth doing! The ability to cook is a gift of mine, and it's a shame to see it go to waste. I HATE doing it as a job, it makes me miserable! So I love to be able to pull out all the culinary stops for friends who I know are going to appreciate all my effort. If I had a bigger, better equipt kitchen I'd do it more often.

I always think about my life as a series of past lives, and then my current life. I wonder how many lives I've had then? Lets me see...
life 1: Baby/child.
Life 2: Teenager.
Life 3: Aprentice chef.
Life 4: Assistant manger in a CD store.
Life 5: Naturopathy student.
Life 6: Chef on a pearl farm/ living in Broome1 week out of 2 (money rich time poor)
Life 7: Cd store/ living in Broome full time (time rich, money poor)
Life 8: Backpacker in Europe
Life 9: Unemployed, miserable and trapped. Getting used to Perth life after 4 yrs away
Life 10: 9-5 5 day a week normal 'adult' job/life
Life 11:.coming soon...

Kinda reads like a CV I guess, but all those things have been very different parts of my life. If I think about the version of myself in any of those lives, I was very different then than I am now. Some lives wre crappy, but everything has contributed to making me the person I am now! So I feel like I'm phasing into life 11 about now with more study on the horizon. 11 lives in 27 years, who would have thought!

Cardigans

I tend to amass cardigans, and I have a confession to make. I give them all names! It's strange I know but it's something I have done since I was a child, and I can't seem to stop myself! Tonight I am wearing a black cardigan with ladybug buttons, it's name is Beryl (named after my Nana). I have a philosophy that cardigans need old people names, so I have one called Mavis, one called Doris, I have a very daggy 70's style brown argyle mens cardi in nothing but the finest man made fibres called Dudley (named after my now deceased great uncle). All seems right with the world when things have special names.

On a similar note I always name my cars. My first car was a little white Diahatsu Charade, it's name was Bob. But not the naisal American 'Baaab', but the snooty clipped English version 'Bob!'. After that I owned with my partner at the time a big old noisy smelly Nissan Patrol. We bought it to drive up to Broome in, it had all this cool camping stuff in the back including a tap! The coolest part was he converted it to run on recycled vegetable oil, so if you drove behind us it would smell like fish and chips. I called that one Big Kev, cause we were pretty 'excited' when we bought it! That car, like his name sake has since passed away...bless! After that it was a very old Holden Astra, I named it Murial, I have no idea why, it just seemed to suit. And most currently is my gorgeous Honda Jazz. His name is Norbert, or Norby to his friends. My Dad had a cool idea (he has a honda jazz too), that we should both name our cars after the famous jazz duo Ella (Fitzgerald) and Louis (Armstrong), but alas, mine already had a name.

I also love naming people, I don't really care about the fact that their mothers have already given them a perfectly servicable name, I'm going to give them a new nickname anyway. My sister's nickname seems to constantly evolve over time. Originally it was Janey-pooh (I think adding pooh to anyones name is a good start), then it was just Pooh, then Pooderoo, and in it's current form it's Poodey. My flat mates have been dubbed Button and Peanut, for no particular reason other than it's kinda cutesy, and I was hoping they'd hate the names. But as Peanut informs me it doesn't bother him in the least, I think secretly he likes it! I'll have to try harder to find something to annoy him other than putting fat chicks on his desktop.