I fucking give up
My whole life I've been over weight, I've always been 'the big girl', 'the chubby girl', 'the funny girl (code for fat)', the nice girl ( more code for fat)'.
I thought I had it fixed, I thought I had the solution and had it beat.
I was wrong and now I give up. It doesn't seem to matter how much I run I can't budge even a gram of weight, I just keep getting heavier and heavier with every step of my running shoes.
I don't eat crap, I don't eat excessively, I eat sensibly 3 meals a day. I don't binge on chocolate, I don't drink a 6 pack every night. On paper I sound like someone who is fit and thin, but no, I'm getting fatter every day.
And so body: You fucking win, I give up!! Say hello to the next Mama Cass
Unless I get some kind of eating disorder I'm going to remain fat.
Maybe in a past life I was one of those annoying people who bragged about eating what I want and not putting on an ounce, and now this is my penance!!
Fuck you universe
posted by Milly @ 2:25 AM
7 Comments
7 Comments:
So Aaron's probably the best person to chime in here... but here's my 2c worth anyways.
As you might recall from the Channel 9 commercials in the 80's - "your body's like a machine". You have input and you have output, and if there's a difference then something different occurs. If input > output, you get fat. If output > input then you drop weight. You don't get something for nothing; you have to get your energy from somewhere.
For fat people, consider this. Maybe they're just super efficient. Your body can do x amount of exertion for y amount of energy. For a thinner person maybe they have a less efficient body, and need 0.5x of energy for every y amount of exertion - so you're basically tuned twice as well as the next person. Just how I see it, and it might well be flawed.
Note that the above should not be read as "you are fat" but rather "the person I'm talking to believes they're fat". You know what I mean :)
Awwww, Melinda! You're NOT fat! I think we're always much harsher in regards to our appearance than others. I look at you, & I see "Melinda". I see a beautiful face, a lovely personality, an elegant dress sense, & CERTAINLY not a fat body.
It doesn't help that Maggie & Emma are two of our closest pals. They're freak'n sticks, man. I love them, but the whole "their bodies" vs "my body" does my head in.
You're gorgeous. Not fat. Just normal. Not fat, just NORMAL.
There is:
Stick
Normal
Cuddley
Fat
You're normal.
The end.
I'm too tired to write any more or to attempt to make sense.
BG :d
X
So the first point people want to say is that you're not fat, but I know this doesn't really matter. I don't think your fat, but again I know this won't matter. People tell me the same, it doesn't matter. I see what I see.
As for advice on how to do it etc I would say that there are a lot of things about losing weight that are somewhat counter intuitive. It's not necessarily just about eating less and exercising more, although that is a good place to start. Sometimes it's about eating more and exercising more. Also it's about being honest about your exercising calories, it's also about refining your intake vs output over time.
One thing i question is the calories you're using for the running you are doing. I would question that first of all and maybe look at some online calculators.
Personally I think if you want to lose weight that's a decision that you make personally. You'll have a bunch of people on your case if it ever gets unhealthy :) So with that in mind if you want to lose the weight be more honest about your intake and output and start to actually monitor the calorie differences and how that's relating to weight lost. Lots of people don't fit that fat part of the bell curve so you need to work it out for yourself.
Three meals a day is not conducive to weight loss, up that to 5 maybe 6.
Drink lots of water. I think you might aim for a minimum of 2L. I drink at least 4L a day. Pish posh to peopel that say it hurts your kidneys, we are doing some exercise (in my case a fair chunk).
Monitor everything, change what isn't working.
There is a great e-book I have read that I can pass on if you're interested it goes into a lot more detail.
Basically if you want to give up that's fine, you don't have anything to prove. You have someone that loves you and you can put that effort into accepting who you are. I don't see a reason why you should have to give up though if you have a goal in mind I think anyone can do whatever they want it's just harder work for some than others.
Oh, one thing I wanted to say is that I would concentrate on increasing your speed of running over distance. You'll get better muscle building benefits from high excersion exercise over prolonged low impact exercise. Also your body starts to release enzymes to break down muscle after about an hour. Also you'll burn more calories faster during exercise and continue to do so for longer with raised metabolism.
I'd concentrate on trying to run 5km faster while doing one long run a week. You'll see far better results that way, almost guaranteed. Also I have found I've gotten much more out of a long sprint at the end. I'm up to about a kilometre now at the end of most of my runs. I think it's helped my speed a lot and also my breathing is just a lot easier.
There is a lot of stuff you can do which will make things both more effective and more enjoyable and take up less of your time. :)
I think Aaron nailed it. Not surprising. When I started looking at calorie king (software), it was telling me I was eating about 30% fat (and this was as a vegetarian). It really opened my eyes to a few foods that I thought were good.
You might need to really analyse a few things I guess. But the point is you want to have fun, and work hard, and not make it a get there or bust kind of goal I guess. Tony, and all of us are there for you in whatever you desire.
Also get the personal trainer to do a body fat caliper test. What you may find is you lose weight and gain muscle if you are doing good stuff at first or eating close to your caloric needs while doing a lot fo exercise. it's another thing to measure or set your success against.
The things built into scales or that you hold and are based on impedance are extremely unreliable.
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